I Forget Myself,
by Yvette Trujillo, RScP
There are times when I forget who I am. I can wander around for long stretches in a fog bumping into problems and mistakes, confusing them for myself; I am the problem; I am the mistake. It can be incredibly overwhelming, bouncing around like a silver ball in a pinball machine, seemingly setting fire to everything I touch. Eventually, though (and this happens every time), I begin to see glimpses of light that attract my attention for just a moment. In that precious moment, my focus is turned from all the worries and the distress. The relief is intense and eventually the light begins to stir up a memory that is so close and I fight to make it clear, like having a word at the tip of my tongue. Before the memory is clear, I remember words like a key to hidden treasure and I begin to repeat the incantation: There is just one life. That life is God’s life. That life is perfect. That life is my life now. When I’m so focused on that pin of light, I repeat this prayer again and again and again, as if to shake myself awake from a nightmare, and it works.
There is just one life. That life is God’s life. That life is perfect. That life is my life now… right now. As I allow myself to sink into the truth of who I really am, I can see that this has always been so. I can see that I am eternally connected to that which created everything. I remember through this prayer that I am a precious and unique expression of the Divine and that I have not been in a nightmare but in the process of transformation. That dark fog of struggle and pain was a chrysalis and catching the light was my invitation to begin to push upon the edges of my transformation chamber and emerge a new and even more radiant being than ever before. On the other side as I stretch out my new wings, I can see and understand the journey. I take a moment to bury the treasure once again in my mind and I give thanks to the genius of Spirit for this journey. And I fly.
And so it is.